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Let me start by saying that I never once considered Breast Augmentation until about 6 months ago. I had never even thought twice about my breasts until about a year after nursing my second child. I guess you don't think about them if you have them, right? It wasn't just the nursing that wreaked havoc on my breasts. After my second child I decided I was going to be in better shape than I have ever been in my life. So with a Personal Trainer's help I put together a program that would help me accomplish that goal.

As my body fat percentage dropped, my bras got looser and looser. It actually looked like someone pricked them with a pin and gave them slow leaks! I was horrified when I went to try on a bathing suit and they just hung there, but what really killed me was all the loose skin that just hung there from being stretched to a small D while nursing and then shrinking again-twice. Out of curiousity I started researching BA.

I can honestly say that I never really thought I would go through with it. It was fun to think about and imagine, but I said to myself "I am so healthy, why would I injure myself and go through surgery voluntarily"? Well, as anyone reading this knows, you become "BREAST OBSESSED" very quickly and soon bigger breasts consume your every waking thought. I made my first consultation "just to see" and couldn't wait for it to arrive. Meanwhile I researched my potential doctor, who has a very strong reputation in my small town, to be sure he is board certified and that he had a lot of experience with BA. He was and he did.

When I went to the consultation, I was so nervous I felt sick. The nurse came in and gave me crackers and gingerale. I was pretty impressed. The Doctor came in and I must say, he was very good looking. It was a little embarassing showing him my baggy breasts but he did his measurements and then just sat back and answered all my questions. I liked him right away, and the good looks didn't exactly hurt; (shallow, I know). The nurse never left the room and apparently he has this policy in the office that he is never alone with a patient. That got a few more points. He let me know that he could make my breasts  beautiful. We discussed over the muscle placement, which he feels is more natural and gives a great result since I had enough breast tissue to cover the implant. He never rushed me or made me feel that my questions were stupid and I was very comfortable in the office. When I left I asked for some names and numbers of patients that I could speak with. I was given two.

I called one of them immediately. She could not say enough about this doctor. She owned a salon and since she had her BA, she had sent about 8 or 9 other woman to him who were all ecstatic with their results. She told me to drive on up (about 45 minute drive) and see them! Of course I did. They were beautiful and she really helped me make up my mind to do it. I finally set my surgery date-March 20, 2002. I called my mom and she, very surprisingly, was all for it and understood why I wanted to do this. She said she would come and help me with my two young children (4 and 2 y.o.).

When I walked into my pre-op appointment, I CRIED. I was so nervous. The nurse was incredibly sweet and was hugging me and telling me I'd be fine and that I would be well taken care of. She said "you're going to make your cute little body even cuter". She made me feel much better. I had brought pictures of what "look" and size I was hoping for. I never used "sizers" some people talk about. This doctor chose everything for you (implant type, placement, cc's), after all, they are the expert, right? I totally trusted him to give me what I wanted. The nurse gave me 4 prescriptions to be filled before surgery, one of them being a Rx for Valium. Thank goodness, I didn't know if I would chicken out that morning or not, so I asked if I could take one before surgery. They said yes. At this point I was pretty sure I was going through with it. Everyday for the past 4 months I told my husband "I'm going to do it", then two hours later "I've decided against it". I went back and fourth daily. He just said "O.K., honey, whatever makes you happy". He was so sweet and patient and I was so indecisive!

As surgery got closer I began to be less nervous and more excited. I couldn't believe it. It was like I went to OZ and got some courage from the wizard. I don't know why I felt the need to say that . . . Anyway, I spent the two weeks before my surgery cleaning, doing laundry, "nesting" like I did before the births of my children. I made my bedroom look extra pretty because I knew I'd see a lot of it.  I was ready to do this.

The morning of surgery I woke up at 6:00 and couldn't get back to sleep. I had to be at the surgery center at 8:30. My son had slept with me and I just layed with him and held him and kissed him until about 7:15. It made me feel peaceful for some reason. DH came into the room with "scared" written all over his face. I just got up and started getting ready. He couldn't believe how calm I was. He actually said "you're supposed to be freaking out right now". I said "Do you want me to"? I was oddly calm. I just wanted to get it over with. I couldn't decide if I wanted to take the Valium. I really didn't think I needed it but I took 1/2 of one anyway.  My mother (NANA!) arrived and the kids were so excited. She started to make them breakfast and I kissed them goodbye. "Mommy's going to have her wisdom teeth pulled out". This was my personal business and I didn't want to share it with anyone. My daughter jibber-jabbers a lot.

When we got there I changed into the gown and waited for the Doctor. He came in around 9:15 and we talked. He went over the pictures again and started to move my breasts around. What he said next was enough to freak me out but amazingly I stayed calm (Valium? Perhaps).  He said "In order to acheive this look I think I will go partial submuscular, is that O.K."? Of course my immediate thoughts were "Ouch, ouch and more ouch". I had planned on less pain because they were going to be "overs". However, I was doing this so why not get the best result possible. So, I said "Whatever you think is best". Again, he has been dong this for 12 years and I have been READING about it for 6 months!

The Anesthesiologist came in and put a catheter in my arm. We made smalltalk. The nurse came in a few minutes later and said "Let's rock and roll". I remember going into the OR and laying down on the table and the Anesthesiologist said, "Picture yourself on a beach and I'm going to make you a cocktail . . . "  I then remember waking up. No pain, no nausea like I've read about, just grogginess. I guess I didn't say anything, just ate a cracker and drank some gingerale. I looked down and saw this pretty lacy surgical bra and these big bumps! I don't really remember getting dressed or much else. I do remember seeing the Doctor on the way out in the wheelchair and asking him "How did it go?" He just smiled and said "It went great". I got home, had a protein shake and immediately took my pain meds. No, I didn't start with one like they say, I took two. I was not in unbearable pain and even got up and went to the mirror to look. I screamed DH's name. He thought something was wrong and came running. I was standing there with my surgical bra open in the mirror looking at myself in awe. They were so pretty, perfect, ROUND, and symmetrical. I couldn't believe they were on my body. Even when I had nice breasts, they were nothing like this.

For the rest of the day, I hung out in bed and rested, nibbled on a little food and drank my protein shakes and took my meds. Getting waited on was a totally new experience since I'm the maid around here! I was uncomfortable but was expecting the worst because of the partial submuscular placement. I was pretty stiff and it was hard to get around the first few days and sleeping on my back was difficult! Four days post-op I woke up with horrible cramps. I started my PERIOD! Talk about adding insult to injury!! I had actually planned my surgery around it and had had it two weeks prior. This was not going to be a good day. The hormones must have taken over because I actually got a little panicky and said "I want them OUT"!! My DH calmed me down. I had a follow-up scheduled with my PS on Weds. (one week post-op) but this was Monday. I called the office to ask why I started my period and they said "That happens sometimes, come on in". I went in and the Doctor said I was healing nicely. He actually said "They're so perfect I could kiss them". He's got a great sense of humor! (Did I mention he's also extremely HOT?) Anyway, while I was there I was talking to him and he said "Lay down for a second". He saw two little blemishes (broken blood vessels) on my face and proceeded to zap them off with his laser. He said he was going to make me perfect. There, I saved myself some money right there. I was convinced I picked the right Doctor. LOL

He told me that I could begin working out again 1 1/2 weeks post-op. I wasn't sure I would even have the energy. I was worried that I would never get my energy back or feel like my old self. BTW, I used all of my pain meds and was done them by day 4. About 12 days post-op I woke up feeling pretty decent and didn't have to lay down all day. That night, I walked for 30 minutes on my treadmill and was fine. I planned on returning to the gym the next day. I haven't lifted a weight yet, but am back on my cardio regimen. It felt good to work out again, especially mentally! I wore a shelf-bra workout shirt without a bra for the first time. It was strange but pretty cool. It's weird to actully look good in anything you put on and to be able to buy things that you like instead of what looks good or has the most padding.  

Today, I am 2 weeks and a day post-op and I can tell you that this has been one big emotional roller coaster ride for me and my husband. I have cried a lot, questioned my decision and a lot of things about myself, regretted my decision, and been ecstatic with my results all in a matter of 2 weeks. I was wearing my padded bras beforehand so no one would notice but you can't NOT notice these! Well, let me rephrase that. At the gym in a tanktop you probably can notice. It is still a few months until bathing suit weather so I may just get away with it. When they drop a bit they won't be so obvious. I can't wait until they soften and look and feel like natural breasts. I go back and fourth a hundred times a day about whether they are too big and whether I should have even done it. Then, I think about my old breasts and I think I did the right thing. I am also worrying about people finding out, like my in-laws. My husband keeps telling me to remember why I did this and who I did it for, ME.

I have not gotten used to them yet; they are still a wee bit sore but sleeping is more comfortable on my sides and they feel a little lighter and softer everyday. My nipples and breasts are flaking (peeling skin) and are sore and super-sensitive, but that, too is subsiding a little everyday. My support group ladies tell me to hang in there and be patient and that I will love them when they feel more a part of me. I will keep you updated on my emotional as well as healing progress.

Good Luck to you as you make this journey. I hope it is everything you hoped for and more!

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